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Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation -
To the memory of the striking Bolshevik printers of St Petersburg who, in 1905, demanded to be paid the same rate for punctuation marks as for letters, and thereby directly precipitated the first Russian Revolution. ‎· Victory through semantics
...word-processing software will not allow you to type a full stop and then a lower case letter; it will capitalise automatically. This is bad news, obviously, for chaps like e.e. cummings... ‎· Victory through semantics
But this was in an age when people had been taught the difference between “Am I looking at my dinner or the dog’s?” and “Am I looking at my dinner or the dogs?” ‎· Victory through semantics
We can’t go to Jo’burg (We cannot go to Johannesburg – perhaps because we can’t spell the middle bit) ‎· Victory through semantics
No matter that you have a PhD and have read all of Henry James twice. If you still persist in writing, “Good food at it’s best”, you deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave. ‎· Victory through semantics
флудер же ‎· котячий дочЪ
“Why did you have a comma in the sentence, ‘After dinner, the men went into the living-room’?” And his answer was probably one of the loveliest things ever said about punctuation. “This particular comma,” Thurber explained, “was Ross’s way of giving the men time to push back their chairs and stand up.” ‎· Victory through semantics
People who put in all the commas betray themselves as moral weaklings with empty lives and out-of-date reference books. ‎· Victory through semantics
АААА КАК ЖЕ ОНА КРУТО ПИШЕТ ‎· Victory through semantics
Assuming a sentence rises into the air with the initial capital letter and lands with a soft-ish bump at the full stop, the humble comma can keep the sentence aloft all right, like this, UP, for hours if necessary, UP, like this, UP, sort-of bouncing, and then falling down, and then UP it goes again, assuming you have enough additional things to say, although in the end you may run out of ideas and then you have to roll along the ground with no commas at all until some sort of surface resistance takes over and you run out of steam anyway and then eventually with the help of three dots ... you stop. ‎· Victory through semantics
What the semicolon’s anxious supporters fret about is the tendency of contemporary writers to use a dash instead of a semicolon and thus precipitate the end of the world. ‎· Victory through semantics
In humorous writing, the exclamation mark is the equivalent of canned laughter (F. Scott Fitzgerald – that well-known knockabout gag-man – said it was like laughing at your own jokes). ‎· Victory through semantics
A catalogue will advertise that its pineapple ring slicer works just like ‘a compass’. Why? Why doesn’t it work just like a compass? ‎· Victory through semantics
Woodrow Wilson said the hyphen was “the most un-American thing in the world” (note the hyphen required in “un-American”); ‎· Victory through semantics
A re-formed rock band is quite different from a reformed one. Likewise, a long-standing friend is different from a long standing one. ‎· Victory through semantics
That’s why they came up with the emoticon, too – the emoticon being the greatest (or most desperate, depending how you look at it) advance in punctuation since the question mark in the reign of Charlemagne. ‎· Victory through semantics
Proper punctuation is both the sign and the cause of clear thinking. If it goes, the degree of intellectual impoverishment we face is unimaginable. ‎· Victory through semantics
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