Random Quotes

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"Oh, what nice containers. And they come with free [insert product name], too! These will be perfect for X, Y, or Z, in the bathroom."
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Can you identify the products they originally came from?There is only 1 container there that was actually sold empty. ‎· April ☕
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Oh...wait, are those ice cream containers? I've seen sherbet containers shaped like that ‎· hedgielib
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"I can vacuum it, now that I know how vacuums work." #Stephisms #OutOfContext
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"Hi, my name is Sean Connery. May I shit on your lap?" "Uhhhhh...I don't know!" #Stephisms
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Oh, man. It took me this many decades before I heard another Scot with that sort of accent. Until just recently, I thought it was just a weirdness about how Connery chose to speak. But then I heard an ep of BBC History Magazine with a Scottish academic with that same accent. ‎· Spidra Webster ‎· 1
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"I wish I were a naked, skinless skeleton, screaming in the woods. But some poor innocent campers would probably end up scared for life." #Stephisms
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And yes, she meant "scared" and not "scarred". ‎· April ☕
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"I will not sleep in my soup, I will not sleep in my soup..." #Stephisms
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"Overall it was a disaster and now my apartment smells like chicken booty."
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"Stressed?Try raspberries! No, don't eat them, make therm!" #Stephisms
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PLEASE BEHOLD THE CORRECT WAY OF USING MOKUM EVERYONE. THANKS, @app103. ‎· псы в рапиде ‎· 11
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"You know it's good gravy when you are eating it cold, scraping every last bit of it out of the container, with your finger." #Stephisms
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"It's the universe's butthole, which also serves as its mouth...and its vagina...and its left nostril...and the right one. It's the Universal All Purpose Hole." #Stephisms
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She was referring to trippy visuals in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zl3Y5-Qrbk8 ‎· April ☕
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"I wonder what normal people talk about over dinner. Probably boring stuff. Certainly not about whether or not we exist to serve our insect overlords." #Stephisms
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"So, how many slices of soup do you want?" #Stephisms #ThingsYouThoughtYouWouldNeverHear
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"Every day should begin with chocolate cake for breakfast, then going back to bed for 3 more hours. If we all did that, we'd be so much happier." #Stephisms
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"I have a bunch of little green men in my purse. Let's have some fun and turn them loose at the mall!" #Stephisms
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"Yes, life is scamming us. It's replacing all the babies with old people." #Stephisms
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"You smell like somebody tried to mop the lawn." (pine cleaner and fresh cut grass)
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"If the neighbors can't smell it, there's not enough cumin."
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isn't this a universal law or something? ‎· MoTO Babycakes ‎· 3
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Yes, it is! ‎· April ☕
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IRC Quote of the Day #tofu
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Halil» posted to Halil and randomquotes
The collective principle asserts that... no society can legitimately call itself civilised if a sick person is denied medical aid because of lack of means. — Aneurin Bevan, In Place of Fear, p. 100
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"Release the monkeys; burn the circus." #Stephisms
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"It's not that I don't care, it's that I just don't care." #Stephisms
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This is her new thing that she says when she does care about something, but not enough to get stressed over it. ‎· April ☕ ‎· 2
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"You just made the most potent purple paint possible!" #ThingsYouNeverThoughtYouWouldHearYourselfSay #blueberries
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You try saying that out loud, without screwing it up. Go on, I'll wait. ‎· April ☕
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"A committee is a dark alley down which good ideas are lured and quietly strangled."
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Though I've also seen them get their brains dashed out on the curbstone publicly to send a message. ‎· Smooth Young Priest ‎· 2
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^ as a warning to the others. Sometimes they just vanish, and are only spoken of in hushed whispers in the dead of night. ‎· Jennifer D. ‎· 2
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"Children will always be afraid of the dark, and men with minds sensitive to hereditary impulse will always tremble at the thought of the hidden and fathomless worlds of strange life which may pulsate in the gulfs beyond the stars, or press hideously upon our own globe in unholy dimensions which only the dead and the moonstruck can glimpse." — Supernatural Horror in Literature
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"I was happy with the pretty nebula, till you changed it into a scary space clown." #Stephisms
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All I did was point out the eyes & mouth that I saw, and she then saw the clown nose. ‎· April ☕
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"I'm not going to lick it, I made that mistake last time." #OutOfContext #Stephisms
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She was referring to a measuring spoon which was used to measure highly concentrated, coffee flavored, sugar-free, caffeinated, drink flavoring. Looks like chocolate syrup, but sure doesn't taste like it. ‎· April ☕
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