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"Look, I am a sex offender. I have offensive sex. I OFFEND PEOPLE WITH THE SEX I HAVE." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"I have a rule about favors, I give everybody just one. — I have a similar rule about bubblegum." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"Hey, do you think Mother Maggie is married to Father Fa- o-oh, probably not." #sethmcfarlanequotes
^ good one :) ‎· intmainvoid
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"We're the three wisemen! We came here following a star! — Those two statements contradict each other." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"This model rocket contest is an exercise of thrust, force and precision. The same skills you've been learning in sex ed." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"By the way, the carpet matches the drapes. In color AND quantity. Ever seen a blacksmith's apron?" #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"Ah, Chinatown. Where you could've told me it was Japantown or Koreantown and I would nod and smile." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"Craigslist? What is that, like Schindler's List? Somebody should tell Craig that Jews are doing just fine now, excelling even." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"You can pretend to be me, go to the lawyers' office, and then claim the inheritance! — I do like pretend... But I don't like you. But I do like lawyers... But I don't like offices. But I do like peaches... Throw in a peach and I'll do it." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"I went to New York once in 1981 and I just DID NOT FEEL SAFE." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"The ladies and I were just watching "Jack and Jill". Adam Sandler plays a guy and his sister, and it's... it's just awful, it's... unwatchable, but, you know, they're hookers, so it's fine." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"You see, what differs us from other banks is that other banks are banks, now, do you have any collateral? — Er... I have three kids. — I'll take them! Just kidding. Or maybe not. Sign this." #sethmcfarlanequotes
)) ‎· lunnayanoch
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"A Christmas tree. Could anything be more American? — An American flag? — Or, or, an American flag with Christmas trees for stars. O-oh, that would make a good cake. Note to self: I like cake." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"Hey, why do they call this planet Hoth? They should call it... Coldth." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"Mom, you're so dumb that I don't tell "Your mama's so dumb" jokes, I tell "My mama's so dumb" jokes. Example: "My mama's so dumb, I don't tell "Your mama's so dumb" jokes, I tell "My mama's so dumb" jokes." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"Brian, how can you have a thirteen year-old son while you yourself are only seven? — No, those are dog years. — That doesn't make any sense. — You know what, Stewie, if you don't like it, go on the Internet and complain." #sethmcfarlanequotes
intmainvoid » from archive
intmainvoid » from archive
"I was having fun, and then I saw you and my fun went soft." #sethmcfarlanequotes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyiL2hYIKbU
Также, именно таково мое восприятие французского языка в 100% случаев. ‎· intmainvoid
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"It's us or them! Choose! — No, don't make me choose, I'm terrible at choosing! — Choose! — No, nooooooo... them. — What?! — Huh. I'm better at choosing than I thought." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"How do you know he's gay? — Well, you know, the little things: the way he talks, his mannerisms, and he had a complete DVD set of Sex and the City between his buttcheeks." #sethmcfarlanequotes
intmainvoid » from archive
intmainvoid » from archive
"We can't see each other again. If you die before me, I'll leave a rose on your grave every year. Every five years. Once. I'll think of you. I won't." #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"Oh, it's a disintegrator? I thought it was a penis enlarger. Ha-ha-ha! That almost went horribly wrong!" #sethmcfarlanequotes
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"Thank you! I mean... German for "thank you". Donkey something!" #sethmcfarlanequotes